Assess this piece based on its structure, does it successively convey an effect that you can comment on?
- Does it have produce deliberate effects using structure?
- Is the writing coherent?
- Is the opening confident?
- Does the writing engage the reader?
- Is the ending convincing and deliberate?
His skin began to prickle with a neat intensity, every inch of his body tingled at once, as though he were under attack from a million needle points sticking him over and over. The cells along his arm expanded, the water held within the thin membranes expanding and tearing the tissue at a microscopic level. Blood seeped through his cotton shirt and red blotches floated to the surface, dark at the centres, like islands spreading across his limbs. His skin took on a purpled, bruised pallor and his mind roared from the freezing heat that bombarded his body. So severe was the strength of the heat-ray that struck him that he crumpled in an instant and his head rocked from side to side before tiny shoots of flame sprang out of his mouth, out of his eyes and the pop and splatter of destroyed organs filled his ears before they too were crippled by the heat.
His skin now black and ash-like, he toppled to the side, his head cracking against a stone and breaking like a china pot would. His body smouldered from the remaining heat. He was long dead, but his body jerked and shifted as the limbs slowly burnt away and the weight of his body gave in against its own pressure until he was nothing more than a burnt and blackened heap of ash.
[A recreative piece of writing based on H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds]
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